My mother will tell you that I have always loved shopping. Even as an infant, I could happily sit for hours... being in and out of the car, and in and out of stores.
Now I am not sure if this characteristic is attributed to my own personality or the fact that capital punishment was allowed in my family, but somehow, spanking or not, I still LOVE shopping....
I see it as therapy.
I can go for hours. I don't even have to buy anything....just being in a store and looking and touching (I suck at internet shopping unless I know exactly what I am looking for!)
I get a high. I am happy. I am relaxed.
Unfortunately, I have a few issues with shopping with children.....okay, let's be honest. I have MANY issues with shopping with children.
I am in superspeed. I am distracted. I am stressed.
Where is the therapy in that?
There is none.
Wait! It gets worse.
I almost always shop for my children when I am out. I cater my shopping to kid friendly stores.
I go to Toys R US for fun.
Jo Ann's - no thank you, my child always has to use the bathroom when we are in there and you won't give us your key. I have decided to stop shopping there all together at this point.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to go out on my own - ALONE.
I park my car.
I walk toward a store and feel like I have forgotten something. Oh wait! My kids are not in the car.
I go inside and get a cart. I place my purse in the cart and begin perusing the clothing racks directly in front of me.
I suddenly feel very strange.
Why am I the only one in this store with a cart?
I tell myself "Who cares?! I know my kids aren't with me but I am using it for my purse!"
Wait, why am I the only one in this store with a purse the size of a suitcase?
I tell myself "Well, oversized purses are good even if you aren't storing cups and diapers in it. You can carry a drink for yourself! Hydration is the key to youth."
I make it about five more steps before I pick up my purse, which must weigh 10 pounds without the excess baggage and casually abandon my cart.
I continue to peruse the clothing racks. I realize that I am the only one in the store who isn't college age.
Wait! I see a mom....she doesn't have a cart either. Okay, I can continue shopping without my cart. I can still see my cart though....just in case I change my mind.
By the time I make it to the back of the store, I am cursing myself for not having a cart.
I wonder how I shop with a purse and a cart and 2 kids.
I shake off my need for a cart and tell myself I can do this!
I re-evaluate my choices and decide that 2 pieces are worthless because they aren't "kid-friendly" - which translates into machine washable without falling to pieces.
I realize I have dried snot on my shoulder.
I again become super self-conscious. I don't have a child with me, to help convience people that I don't use my own shirt to wipe my nose. I switch my purse the the opposite shoulder to try to cover it.
It doesn't work....
At that point, I walk toward the checkout in hopes of getting out as soon as possible.
Who would have thought that a shopping trip without my kids would be more stressful than one with them??