What not to say...

Months ago, my husband and I worked on an article listing things not to say to a spouse of a deployed soldier. Since he is finally posting it, I am able to do the same without stealing his glory.....
You can read the full series at his blog....http://blogs.roanoke.com/rtblogs/iraq/
I just wanted to post the list I collected from myself, Sheena, Melissa, Robyn, Erin and Rasheedah.


Often, people may attempt to empathize with the situation by saying one of the following:
“I know how you feel. My husband was away for nearly a week on business last month.” Although, well intended, a short business trip is NOTHING like experiencing the weight of a deployment, which can last from six to fifteen months.

“I know how you feel, I was a single mom.”
The wife does stay alone and care for things, but a single mom does not have to worry about a husband being in danger.

“I understand what you are going through, I watch the show Army Wives.”
The show Army Wives is not a reality show; it is a TV drama that is meant to mimic what writers believe to be true.

People may offer what they believe to be a compliment:
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“I couldn’t deal if my husband left that long.”
Hearing this is not a compliment. The wife does not have a choice to “deal,” and, often times, they don’t know how they get through either; they just do it because they honor and love their husband.

Some try to offer support and look on the bright side of things concerning the deployment.
“Well you only have 9 months left. The rest is easy now.”
Having a portion of the deployment completed does not make the rest of the separation easier.

If he is in Iraq, “At least he is not in Afghanistan.” OR
If he is in Afghanistan, “At least he is not in Iraq.”
Regardless of his location for the deployment, he is still in danger and still separated from his family.

Often times, military spouses are asked questions with obvious answers. Would you prefer if she answers with a non-obvious answer?
“Do you miss him?”
“Are you excited he is coming home?”

“Are you scared he will die?”
On the off chance that the spouse has taken her mind off these thoughts, you have now changed that.

Others carelessly encourage, “But he’ll be home for Christmas, right?”
Military personnel do not get to leave their assigned deployment for Holidays. They are granted only two weeks of vacation to leave and visit their family. Only a fraction of them can visit home at any given time, including holidays.

Believe it or not, those close to military spouses will at times grow tired of their friend’s sorrow, saying:
“You knew what you signed up for when you married a soldier.”
“You knew that he would be deployed.”
Military spouses do not marry the military; they marry the man or woman that they love who happens to be in the military. No one can ever describe to you what the weight of a deployment is like or “what you are signing up for”.

At times, some people end conversations by saying, “If you ever need anyone to help you with something around the house, give me call,” without leaving a phone number.
Typically, a wife is not going to reach out for help, especially when the offer is half-hearted.

Finally, some people just do not think before they talk.
“I am glad my husband isn’t in the military, because he could die.”
Believe it or not, people who aren’t in the military still die.

Momma Meredith

Storytime

Every night, Lucas chooses books for everyone to read. Then, my babies climb into Lucas' bed.

They sit quietly and study their books....

Turn the page....

And another page....

All Done! Now what?!

Gymnast in the Making...

Richard and I have discussed raising a son who goes to the Olympics as a gymnast.
Here he is, practicing his handstand...
Only great things can come from this.

Sand-tastic Day!

Lucas is familiar with sand, however, he still tried to eat it. Here he is, wanting me to get it out of his mouth. HA!

Children

I heard this today from an old friend. She read it and shared with me....so I thought I would share with you....

"One child is a lot of work.
You might think a second child would double the work, but he will quadruple it.
The third child multiplies it by 27.
A fourth child makes very little impact, possibly because you can't find him."

Roar!

Today, my little brother is 21 years old! Oh my goodness! I have memories of him being Lucas' age, hiding in piles of stuff animals - as Lucas does....
I can't believe it! Happy Birthday Trap!

(Not to diss anyone who didn't get a birthday shout out, but my brother is a special person....so get over your jealousy!)

Another memory I have of my brother is watching "The Lion King."

My mom gave us a bunch of VHS tapes, and Lucas finally chose "The Lion King" one day last week to watch.

Lucas is freaking OBSESSED with this movie right now.

However, I cannot tell you how annoying VHS tapes are. And rewinding it over and over is the biggest pain in the butt, EVER. I can't imagine how people did this over 18 years ago....DVD's are a really great invention.

I finally took the time to read the tiny labels on a box of DVD's Rich brought to us back in Febuary. Low and behold, not only is "The Lion King" on there, but so are TLK 2, 3.

So, thank you wonderful Daddy, who was looking out for Lucas' best interest.

Well, not to leave you out on the fun going on with the Connaroes, but I would rather go watch "The Lion King".

Memorial Day

I request that today you take time away from your social gatherings to remember that Memorial Day is not a national day established for pool openings or the start of summer. (Actually, summer doesn't begin for a few more weeks).

Memorial Day was established as the national holiday for you to stop and reflect upon all of the Military Personnel who have lost their lives protecting your freedom.

*

I haven't been able to speak with my husband for several days because of an American fatality that resulted from a suicide bomber. Thankfully, I can count on only one hand the number of times that communication has been cut off since he has been away. The deaths are not in mass quantities with OIF, but they are still very real.

You may wonder why I haven't been able to speak to my husband ...in order to honor those lost, communication is shut down so that information on the incident does not leak before the families can be contacted about their loss.

Hopefully, things will return to normal soon...it is hard enough trying to feel connected to someone halfway around the world as it is....

Mere: the Body Builder

Meredith either wants to do everything her Mommy does....

or else she was reminding me that I didn't workout today.

By the way, this is a 5 lb weight. She is super strong!

Memorial Day Saturday....

Early this morning, I started to blow up the pool that I bought for the kids. They had such a ball with it indoors, I couldn't wait to get it outside!

They had a wonderful time walking around, splashing and climbing in and out! And yes, they have on SPF 55!

Then we headed over to Melanie's Summer Kickoff Party. Since they live right on the lake, my babies were able to play on their shaded beach for a little while....(which is much better than dragging them to the sunny beach, because they totally got bored after like 10 minutes)

I tried to help them get into the whole shovel in the sand, sand in the bucket idea...But Lucas thought it was more fun to throw sand...and Meredith just rolled around in it....

Then other, bigger kids came and were much more interesting....jumping into the lake is much more fun than Mommy.

Melanie took Lucas out to sit on the boat for a little big, because he kept begging to do so....

He wouldn't hold still long enough for me to get a good photo.

So here is Meredith in all her glory....

And here are Lucas and Melanie watching the endless number of kids that emerged.


Again, about 10 minutes and Lucas was ready to move onto bigger and better things....

So we wandered around, and then grabbed some yummy food!

Doe, a deer

Deer are a common sight in our community. They are typically so peaceful, aimlessly wandering and nibbling on the plantlife. Yesterday, however, I witnessed a different side to these animals....one that can only be shown by an animal who feels threatened.

While the babies were eating dinner, I opened the side door to throw out a few things into the recycle bin and saw a doe just standing by one of our cars. I put the cans down, and ran to get the camera.

She was alarmed when she saw me and moved quickly away from the car, toward our fence. Dixie freaked out and started barking like crazy.

I called Lucas to come look at the deer, but then I realized the deer had her eyes on me.

She did not care that Dixie was barking at her. She just kept staring me down. The peaceful nibbling was no longer taking place, and I could feel that something terrible was going to happen if I took another step forward on the porch.

Lucas went and stood in the doorway and looked out. The doe took steps toward me, never taking her eyes off of me. All I could do is wonder what in the world I did to make her want to attack me.

So we put the camera down and returned to our dinner...followed by our normal bedtime routine. About an hour and a half later, I returned to the sidedoor to throw out diapers and the doe was still lurking by my trashcan! She was right next to my porch, and I was honestly scared of what could happen.

But I startled her when I shut the door, and she leapt over the fence. Only, her leaping wasn't quite high enough and she didn't clear it.

She stayed like this for nearly ten minutes.

I tried to think fast. What to do? Obviously, I am not going to go out there and give her a push! I watched her wiggle her legs, while I called the Main Gate (we live in a gated community) and explained the situation to them.

Then, I let Dixie in so she wouldn't alarm the doe if she started barking again.

Once I let Dixie in, the doe gained the confidence to free herself and turned and jumped back into the front yard.

At this point, I peeked out to see the Momma loving her little baby at the bottom of my steps! She had hidden her baby fawn! I didn't want to open the door to startle them, so I let them be. I began to snap shots as they walked away. The scene was soo amazing! I saw the baby wobble on her legs after her Momma.

Here they are stopping to love again.

I stopped to call the Gate back, and when I peeked out again - there was ANOTHER fawn!

He had been hidding, either in the wooded area near our house or under our car.

At this point, I run to the front porch to snap shots, as they begin to cross the driveway.

The Momma's watchful eye spots me again.

Stopping to nurse the little ones.

The other one has a turn.

If you look closely in the background, there is another deer across the street.

A young buck fathered these little ones!

They all gather and converse. And deer do speak with one another. It is the coolest noise I have ever heard!

And off they go!

Excitement

I had a very exciting evening...involving deer.

However, I took so many photos that it may be a few days before you get the full story.

My apologies. But believe me, it is worth the wait.

Besides that, I have been trying to post other things, which I had neglected over the past few days.

Because it is easier than the deer extravaganza, I will post a photo of my delicious dinner.

Since I go to the grocery store weekly, I scope out the meat that is on sale and plan my meals around that.

Tonight's yummy dinner consisted of a ribeye steak that was marked down because the sell by date was today.

I can't decide if it was better than my chicken pot pie I made a few days ago.

What do you think?

Square One

Typically craft time and snack time coincide. This particular day, craft time turned out quite interestingly, because Lucas decided he wanted to integrate the snack (his favorite: Panda Bears (Teddy Grahams)) into the craft session.

I had cut various sizes of squares for a random collage, because Lucas loves DOING. He strategically thinks about where to place the pieces before he puts it in its place with glue.
He even personified the squares, saying the bigger ones were "Mommy" and the little ones were "baby."

When he told me he was all done with the squares, he placed his bears on the creation as well.

Here is his creation:


If you notice, there are 5 bears. They represent our family. The bears to your right are Mommy and Mere. He put them so close, it appears they are holding hands. On your left are Mommy and Luc. Again, holding hands. Upside down and below us is Daddy.

And don't think I am making this up. Lucas told me himself who each of the bears represented.
Much can be drawn from this creation...

But as with any artwork, it is within the eye of the beholder....

Uh Oh! Toe Grow!

I am sure you have heard the saying "Children grow like weeds," without fully comprehending what that means.

You may not believe what you are about to see, but I assure you, it is the truth.

Meredith outgrew her shoes OVER NIGHT!

Observe Exhibit A : Meredith's toe happily sits in her size 2 sandal with plenty of room.

Observe Exhibit B: Meredith's toe has grown beyond the length of her shoe.

Yes, these photos have not been altered in anyway. Amazing huh?

(Her tennis shoes scruntch up her toes. However, that cannot be seen with a camera eye.)

Well what is even more amazing is that before Mother's Day, my mom scored a pair of white sandals in a size 3.

Lucky for me, I have been collecting shoes for Meredith. I have a stockpile of EXCELLENT named brand tennis shoes all the way up to size 7 in toddlers. Yay for clearance shopping!

Sunshine

I have been reading up on skin cancer and sun protection this past week. With the wealth of information, I explained to Lucas the main points -
the importance of using SPF 35 (or greater) sunblock regularly.....
that a family of four should use 3/4 of a bottle of sunblock after one application....
that white has nearly no SPF protection and should be avoided in the sun....

He listened and processed everything I said.
And being the sweet and giving boy that I am raising him to be, he decided to give up his hat so Meredith would be duly protected when we were outside the other day.

Look Mom! No hat!

Aye! Captain!