I often have trouble coming to terms with friendships in the "real world."
In college, I was surrounded by women all day, everyday. You knew so much about everyone else, that you were considered aquantiances with most of the women. You lived near your friends, or made new friends with those who lived near you. Some of the most memorable conversations happened in the hallway in the wee hours of the night.
Yes, gossip existed. Yes, estrogen was out of control. But at the end of the day, the deep connections always outweighed any drama.
I learned to love people by their hearts. I learned to value other's voices and appreciate diversity.
Coming from that, I had high expectations for myself. I was let down when I found out that everyone I meet after college does not want to be my friend....that people are more interested in hanging out with a clone of themselves than appreciating differences....that if you think differently and share that opinion, then the relationship becomes estranged.
At first, I thought that I was living in a fantasy world.
But, I am always reminded of the ABC nighttime drama, "Desperate Housewives." The neighbors are friends. They sit around and gossip. They are always there at the drop of a hat. They can hang out at a moment's notice. They depict what I expect of a life.
But instead, my neighbors aren't my friend. They aren't even friendly.
So, if I am living in a fantasy world, the writers of DH are living the same fantasy.
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Wood Mantle with Hidden Storage
3 years ago
7 comments:
I conquer. We seriously need to get that virtual playgroup up and running!
Okay, I can spell really...let's try concur.
I expected life to be like that too, and it hasn't lived up to it. I keep thinking the next place we end up it will be more like that, but I think I'm just being optimistic. I guess I should come to terms that that life may not exist, but yet I keep hoping.
I think we should always hope, and I think somehow we will find these treasured friendships... they may be different from how things were in college, but thankfully aspects still remain! And... yet, let's conquer this virtual playground, as I concur, too :)
It has been hard for me too. We wanted a friend so we walked a few doors down and could just sit in a friendly space. One of my great most of my good friends don't think just the same way. I have few friends, if any that are just like me. I have,had,a few friend where I grew up but now, like you, I have moved around a lot. When we were moving out of cville and the moving truck was sitting there a neighbor asked if I was moving in or out. I never met anyone, I am sad we did not get together. I am so grateful for the "mommy friends" I have made here. Tim and I Are paying our loans jointly now. My macon friends are still important to me. I doubt the relationships made their now are the same.
I'd like to apologize for my previous sentences. I was using my iPhone, which is wonderous unless you're writing a well thought out, and long, post.
Anyway, I don't have friends in our community yet. Our landlord, a nice old man and his wife, live across the street and he cares for the garden. In June I met a neighbor because I was in the garage doing laundry with the door up and she came up and introduced herself. She's nice, and a grandmother, so she may in time make a good babysitter (here's hoping). She lives diagonally. I met a man with his two boys in the pool. He was very nice (his wife didn't strike me as equally friendly), but our good friends are 45 minutes away. I drive to Santa Cruz a lot. I have a Mommy-friend closer-by but I have only seen her a few times since we met, it's sad.
I think a lot of us struggled to make friends after college. Macon spoiled us with such a wonderfully different group of women who were readily available friendship material. The real world doesn't work the same way.
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